Keeping in line with my continued exploration of canine behavior, this interaction is one I’ve been studying lately for personal reasons that is also an interesting one to map.
As a puppy, my dog, Roux (who will be two this summer) wanted to play with every single dog she met. Then when she was just shy of a year old, she was bit by a large, furry dog. The bite didn’t require stitches, but it broke the skin and we were sure it would make her afraid. With time, she did become more and more wary of new dogs. I thought the best way to push past this was by exposing her to as many new dogs as I could, which often meant taking her to dog parks. Her anxiety about new dogs continued to worsen until it got to the point where she would start foaming at the mouth, keep her tail tucked the entire time, and whimper every time a new dog got near her. If the new dog persisted in trying to get her to play she would growl and snarl at them. It soon became obvious that we needed to figure out what was going on and how to address it.
I did a lot of reading and observation, and spent too much money on a half hour phone consultation with one of my favorite canine behaviorists, Suzanne Clothier. I’m glad to say I now feel like I understand these canine interactions and as a result am much better equipped to deal with the situations.
One of the main things Clothier said when I spoke to her was that Roux’s anxiety about other dogs could have nothing at all to do with being bitten, and instead could be solely a result of dog parks. Canine culture at dog parks encourages unnatural canine behavior, which for many dogs is deeply upsetting. When dogs first meet each other the canine code of conduct dictates they should quietly sniff each other, sometimes the submissive dog will roll over on her back. They sniff each other’s rear ends as well, and should be careful to read the other dog’s body language. Play can only occur if both dogs are willing participants, which requires that the dogs “ask” each other to play. Probably most often this is done with the play bow—where the dog’s rump stays high in the air and she lays down with her front paws.
Here’s a (very) basic diagram of one way the invite to play could go:

But dog parks have created dogs that don’t interact this way at all; instead, many of these dogs come barreling up to Roux, try to jump on her, or play bite her, and often bark at her when she doesn’t react. Clothier explained this interaction with an analogy. To human bystanders, it may look like the dogs are just trying to play. But for Roux it might be the equivalent of a strange man on the street trying to dance with a girl he doesn’t know. To an outsider it could very well look like a fun activity, but if the girl hasn’t accepted his offer to dance it would be an extremely uncomfortable and threatening position to be in.
This made quite a lot of sense, and as I watched Roux’s interactions with other dogs (needless to say I stopped taking her to the dog park), I could see that what was happening supported this theory. When Roux meets polite dogs, dogs who understand the order in which things should happen, she is usually more than happy to play with them. But when she comes across dogs that don’t give her the courtesy of first asking her to play, she doesn’t react well—at which point it is my job to step in. By putting myself between Roux and the other dog, I am able to communicate to her that I have the situation under control and that everything will be okay, which is hugely valuable in preventing her from feeling threatened to the point of aggression.
There are some dogs who are much less sensitive than Roux and are happy to play with just about any dog regardless of the situation. But for the most part, dog parks are volatile spaces, and once you have even the slightest understanding of canine behavior it becomes startlingly obvious just how unhealthy these spaces really are, not to mention how uneducated people are about what their dogs are saying. In his book, The Emotional Lives of Animals, Marc Bekoff writes this passage that I particularly like:
In order to learn the dynamics of play, it’s essential to pay attention to subtle details that can be lost or unnoticed when, for instance, we are simply watching dogs in the park. Dogs and other animals keep close track of what’s happening, so we need to also.
There simply is no replacement for careful observation; Bekoff often analyzes video frame by frame–a form of observation that I plan to pursue as well.